Serial

I'm reluctant to admit that over the course of two days, I have listened to the majority of Season One of the Serial podcast concerning the murder of Hae Min Lee. The older I get, the more I dislike long car rides, especially when I run out of ideas of what songs to listen to. So, call me late to the party, but I decided to start listening to podcasts, namely Serial.

We are barely two months into 2016 but I feel like an emerging trend for the year could be The Innocence Project and reexamining trials resulting in guilty verdicts that maybe weren't quite so iron clad. Before I go any further, I feel the most important thing to state is the obvious which is I am NOT a lawyer and everything I know about the law comes from being a mostly law abiding citizen, a little high school AP government education, and of course watching Legally Blonde and Shonda Rhimes' How to Get Away With Murder...I mean that's about as factual as Grey's Anatomy. Am I right?? (Please note the sarcasm that is heavily injected into that last statement).

As a consumer of Serial, I'm left wondering. Namely, why is the truth so elusive. If Adnan is telling the truth, and he is innocent, then he either has some of the worst 'luck' imaginable, or, he is possibly partially innocent, as in not guilty of murder but guilty or involved in some other way. In which case, how is it that being found guilty of first degree murder of your ex girlfriend and serving a lifetime sentence in prison preferable to coming clean. The more the story unravels, the more perplexed I become. The more I question myself and my ability to note differences between truth and lie.

Various players in this curious case are interviewed. Unfortunately, many of the interviews rely on the validity of memory which, sorry to say, isn't super stable. Memory is so fluid. Yes something may have happened but without accurate accounting or ways of verifying things, how can we know the exact time things occurred. The further out we go the messier it gets and the more challenging it becomes to say anything with certainty. Especially when the days in question seem trivial at the time. For instance, I'm more likely to remember the events of a vacation or birthday as they hold great significance to me. I'm far more unlikely to remember the details of one of my days of work where I have no plans. Can I really be sure of anything without documenting it or being around other people who can corroborate my memories?

The first season of Serial leaves me wondering who to trust. Ultimately, I believe that Adnan is guilty. Of murder I'm not sure. But I believe that Occum's Razor is a tough theory to shake. The simplest explanation is usually the correct one, right? But what happens in life's inevitable gray areas. Where nothing seems simple or straight forward and the more time that passes creates even less certainty. Uncertainty on top of uncertainty until an exponential level of uncertainty is reached and you're left wondering, 'Do I even know anything?'. I've been listening for two days, but I can hear the confusion, frustration and questioning that plagues the people who have made this their business for years. It's astounding.

So, again, why is the truth so evasive? Is it ignorant to think the truth can always set you free? Most likely, yes, but in an extreme situation such as truth vs. life in prison for first degree murder, you would think that someone would eventually come forward and reveal information that clarifies things rather than continuing to muddy the water...or avoiding the water entirely.

The feat of thinking back on days and events 15 years ago seems impossible to me. I can barely remember what I did five years ago, let alone 15. With Facebook and all the other social medias, remembering is a bit easier, but that is assuming that you actively participate in forms of social media and have the means and personality type to share information. Not true for much of the population (despite the ridiculous nature of much of my Facebook newsfeed).

There are so many questions I have about the case. I think I am drawn to this topic in general because I enjoy pursuing the truth and seeing how people make different choices and what their reasons are for such choices. I also enjoy the process of reaching a long awaited resolution...

I've been avoiding reading about this case in the news because I don't want to spoil any of the updates that are on the podcast until I have a chance to listen to them. I'm excited to see where the case is headed. I do consider this. That if Adnan is guilty, he most be some sort of truly exceptional psychopath. He has held tightly to his claim of innocence, despite lacking proper defenses and in spite of loose circumstantial evidence that never seems to fall in his favor. I think it's scary to think that we are potentially being manipulated by a sociopath. Especially one capable of murder without remorse. It gives me chills just typing about it.